a simple confession.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
&
HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

finally it's break time cuz i've been having a terrible time in school.
the hectic homeworks that i have every single day.
those hardly understandable subjects.
the obstacles that i met with.

THANK GOD it's HOLIDAY!

i really wana apologize for being emotionally weak recently.
cried uncountable times in school n i know i kinda freaked some of u guys out.
i was very strong n bubbly on the outside.
but couldn't help it for i'm a very emotional person inside.

this will be a post full of words. so get ready.
i just wana confess something.

sincle the 2nd week of school..
i've been feeling down. why?
i don't know..
probably it's because of those sudden changes that i have to overcome n bare with.

at my stage, it's reli tough for me breaking up n setting apart with so many of my close friends.
it felt like the last minute u were with your family,the next second u're in a whole new world with ppl that u barely know.

urghh.. i missed my class party/how han's farewell/elaine's bday today..
anyway, im sorry for not being there.
i wanted to be there soooo badly cuz i reli wanna feel the warmth n comfort that i used to feel once again.

"now only i know how to appreciate a friend"-js

yes.. me too.
sometimes ppl tend to take things they have for granted,
they'll only realise the importance of it when they lose it.

3B/2008. a class that i love soo much. (and 2B la.)
we were all so close just like a family.
n now all of us are set apart from each other.

i felt so alone after the class-streaming.
don't even know who to recess with.
don't even know who else to turn to when i'm down.
n it's so unfair.. i simply don't understand why is my class the only class that's situated in a different block than others????!!!!

whenever i see u guys anywhere.
somehow i feel attracted n i'll run towards u guys n just can't help talking to u.

in case u doubt, im gonna list it right here.
' u guys ' that i'm talking abt are
chloe
zhi lin
pei zhen
ming yeaw
wei jean
callie
seng kiat
jin shern
guo bin
leslie
qing xian
bryan
n many more..
i know some of u weren't from 3B but u guys were 3B's frequent visitors.. hoho!

although we're not in the same class anymore, u guys still have an open arms for me anytime.

me: "shern.. i miss u a lot lea.."
jin shern : " no need to miss me wan la.. :D "

can tell that he misses me also although we're cousins.. if not he wouldn't smile.. i know him too well. :) n now i know one of his darkest secrets.. muahahaha!

me : " ............... i miss coming to ur hse though."
seng : " come la.. we're going to bryan's hse today! "
me : " cannot.. i got tuition today plus jin shern is not going so i can't go. n i hv no time .. :( "
seng : " wat? just because u're chai shing yin.. so u can't come?
me : " ??!!! what? i can't just go to a guy's hse whenever i like.. it's inappropriate plus jin shern is not going how can i go? "

it hurts so badly when u say that.. ouch.. u know i love u so much, u know i'll go to ur hse when i hv time. i've told u i love shouting n yelling n screming in ur hse n u actually said tat.

me : " eh amir.. duduk sini. "
amir safwan : " ah.. x bleh.. budak pandai x bleh duduk. "
me : " tarak beza punyer la~ duduk la.. jgn macam ni... "
amir safwan : " x nak.. x bleh x bleh "

*knife stabs into the heart* ouch..

ming yeaw : " u haven't been saying hi to me a few days d lea.. "

really? i didn't know.. im so sorry.
n thank you very much that u still care.bin bin : " how are you?? *pats my head*
:) simply love it when u do that..

pei zhen & zhi lin : " wo hen miss ni (i miss u alot) *hugs* "

me too.. so so much.

chloe : " today during english lesson, teacher asked us to write about descriptions of our best friends. i wrote u lea! "

do u know how touched i was when u told me that.
i was so so down after something bad n u brighten up my day.
i didn't know u still think of me.


after sulking abt i hv nobody to recess with.. i feel alone..

she then said : "hey it's ok.. i'll wait for u here everyday during recess ok? then we go recess together. "
zhi lin & pei zhen : " we go to ur class n find u! don't simply go anywhere ar.! "

simple words like this mean so much to me.

whenever i hang out with u guys..
i'll start telling stories again like i always do.
n u guys will care n try to blend into my life now.. well, of course,u guys already are part of my life.
i feel so comfortable n secure. the love,comfort,care,warmth n everything were all complete whenever u guys are around.
the feeling that i never can felt when i'm with others.
im being honest here..
n i don't know whether had i say this before but i still wana say it again..
我爱你们
i love u guys!
n i miss u guys so so much also.

pls don't hesitate to talk to me!

n oh for my current class now?
of course i loooovee my current classmates!
but i think they've started to hate me for im one of the noisiest n loudest in class. >< style="font-size:180%;">